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We Are Worthy To Eat At The King's Table
by
Chris Klein
Chris Klein is a lifetime AAC user and an active member of the community. Chris has cerebral palsy as a result of birth complications. Chris earned his bachelor’s degree in Kinesiology and his master’s in Theology from Hope College. Today, he is the founder and leader of Clay Vessel Inc., a not-for-profit organization which helps to provide individuals with disabilities the assistive technology they need to lead full lives. Chris says that he has been blessed with gifts and opportunities throughout his life, and he is driven to share those blessings with other people living with disabilities.
-David
One of my favorite things to do is to watch movies. I own more than 300 movies, and yes I have watched every movie that I own. Actually, one of my friends bet me that I couldn’t watch all of my movies in a month, but I did it. That is how much I love movies.
One of my favorite movies is Shrek. There is this scene where Shrek, an ogre, and Donkey are on their way to rescue the princess. They are discussing life and who they are. Donkey is trying to find out what makes Shrek who he is, and why he doesn’t let people in. Shrek tells Donkey "Ogres are like onions; they have layers." Yet, when people see Shrek, they don’t see he has layers. They see he is a big, fat, ugly ogre.
We are living in a culture that has a difficult time looking past the surface. And, as a result we try to make ourselves over. We buy into the trends of the time. We want to belong, so we try to put ourselves together on the outside, so that everyone believes we have it all together. We like to categorize people by looking at their surface, job, social class, or abilities. The reality is people are like onions; we have layers. Yet, when a person with a disability is classified by the disability, it is difficult to see the layers.
The story of Mephibosheth relates well to this identity crisis. Mephibosheth was the grandson of a king. His grandfather and father were killed in battle, and his family was fleeing the land. In those days, when a new king took over, he would come and kill all of the descendants of the past king. Mephiboseth's family was in a hurry to leave the land.
Mephiboseth was five years old at the time and as his nurse picked him up, she dropped him and left him lame. Mephiboseth grew up with two lame legs and feet. When he was introduced, they would say here is Mephiboseth, the lame. Here is the grandson of a former king, and he isn't being seen as that because of his disability. Mephiboseth lost his identity because his identity became his disability. He was already classified, and by the time he was introduced to people, they had preconcieved notions about him. This made him feel so small; he decided that just there was only one way out. Soon, he began to feel that he was unworthy, and that nobody liked him, so he retreated to an isolated place and lived in solitude.
How are you introduced? Do you have a title attached to your name? We all have some idea what it feels like to be Mephiboseth. We know what it is like to be labeled, whether we have a disability, or not, we have a label on us. That label carries a burden because that isn't who we are. Yet, that label becomes our identity.
I understand what it’s like to struggle with my identity. Every time I leave my house I am put into the category of a disabled person. People make assumptions about me because I have to use a wheelchair to get around. They assume I'm not intelligent because I have to talk with a computer. Some decide I’m not worth their effort to talk to me and get to know me.
From early on, it was very difficult for me to accept that I was different from other person. I didn't want to be known as the child with the disability. I wanted to be just like everybody else. I thought if I could dress in the cool clothes, and be accepted among the cool group, nobody would notice the disability. They wouldn't make fun of me, and I wouldn't be an outcast anymore. I tried talking and acting like the "cool" people. I did all kinds of things to fit in. You know what, it didn’t work. People still saw my disability.
The label of disability is hard enough to overcome, yet when you communicate with an augmentative communication device you are put into a whole different category. A few Sundays ago, I was introduced to a new couple at church. They were intrigued with me because every time they saw me at church, they saw that I didn't wear socks. I proceeded to explain to them that I use my toes to talk and drive my wheelchair. They were amazed by all of this, and then the question came. The husband asked, “Can you understand everything that I say to you?” I answered, “no” and we had a good laugh about it, but this is an example of how an augmentative communication device affects peoples' perceptions.
We are living in a culture that doesn’t like silence. We like to hear a person talking when we are communicating with them, so someone that has an AAC device can have a difficult time engaging someone in a conversation. It can be difficult to hold the attention of communication partners and people assume that you aren't able to understand them, and thus it is rare that they will approach you and talk to you.
When a label is placed on us, we begin to feel unworthy. We feel we will never be able to fit in, and some of us allow that label to weigh us down. Mephiboseth allowed that to happen, and he became socially isolated. We have a disability. We might communicate a little differently. We might move around a little differently. Aren't we worthy to be at the table with the cool group? When we feel so isolated and labeled, we lose our identity. This is when we want to give up.
A few years past, and the new king of the land wanted to invite Mephiboseth to eat with him. He understood that this was the last living relative of the old regime. He was told about Mephiboseth, and they pleaded with the king not to allow him eat at the king's table. Why would you allow a lame person to eat at your table? The king still insisted they invite him.
When Mephiboseth received the invitation, he told the king he wasn't worthy to eat at his table. He was lame and he had nothing to offer to the king, so why should the king want him to eat at his table. Yet, the king insisted he eat at his table, which made Mephiboseth feel welcome for the first time in his life.
I don't know what it is like to be invited to eat at a king's table, but when I put myself in the shoes of Mephiboseth, I know I would have probably stayed away. Why would a king invite me? Why would I go just to be mocked? Yet, we are all worthy to eat at the king's table. We are all worthy to wine and dine with President Obama, Michael Jordan, or anyone we choose. I have rarely felt welcomed in my life, so I can relate to Mephiboseth. Actually, I bet he was thinking, are you inviting me to your table so you can ridicule and make fun of me? Everybody else has done that to me, so if that is why you are doing this, just leave me alone. Can you feel his tension? Can you feel his frustration? Can you feel his doubts over this invitation? I can.
I believe sometimes we all focus on our disabilities too much. I know that is what I did. When we do that we question whether or not we really deserve to be eating at the king's table. I believe that was what Mephiboseth was doing. He couldn't see past his disability.
I allowed my disability to define my identity. It caused people to see the disability more, which caused me more frustration. Yes, I know I have a disability, but I don’t consider myself disabled anymore. I am a person that has the same dreams and aspirations of any other person. I am a person that has goals. Some of those goals are achievable, and some are not, but I will continue to live life to the fullest.
I have lived my life this way, and I know the people I encounter get a glimpse of hope. All of a sudden, people see a different person. The disability that they saw before begins to disappear. They start to see the layers and complexities of who I am.
Everybody is special. We are all uniquely created in some way or form. Everybody has gifts. Everybody has a purpose. Everybody has a unique personality. Everybody deserves a chance to show their layers.
Your feedback is always valued. AACConsumerNet@aacinstitute.org.
