Robin Hurd

Reflections from a Different Journey:
What Adults with Disabilities Wish all Parents Knew

by Robin Hurd

When I was in school, I used to hate writing book reports. I could take the most wonderful book, and write a book report that made it sound amazingly dull and boring.

“So what on earth am I doing writing about a book right now,” I ask myself! I hope you will bear with me as I attempt to tell you about a book I just read that comes as close to a How-to manual for parents of children with special needs as any book will ever come. The book is Reflections from a Different Journey: What Adults with Disabilities Wish all Parents Knew, edited by Stanley Klein, Ph.d. and John D. Kemp.

The book is a collection of writings from adults with disabilities for parents who are raising kids with disabilities. The writers have a variety of disabilities and writing styles. Their works have been grouped into common themes:
Love me and Accept me as I am,
Parents are the most Important Experts,
Parental Expectations,
Sexuality,
Education about Disability.

Articles range from a tribute to parents who did an awesome job, to poignant reminders of the inner struggles we face as parents of children with disabilities, to the touching poem, “Please Believe Me,” which every parent of a child who looks fine, but has a disability, can relate to. Each of the articles makes its point in a way that respects the good instincts parents possess, the grief that we each need to come to terms with, and the desire we each have to help our kids reach their potential.

The fact that each author has a different set of disabilities does not stop their writing from having a broad application to parents of children with many different kinds of disabilities. The themes addressed are basic to all children: acceptance and love, expectations of success, sexuality, and educating ourselves and others about our children. Unlike many modern parenting articles, which can leave parents wallowing in guilt, this book left me feeling empowered and able to accomplish the task that is before me. I have a better idea of what my job as “mama” to Joshua and Caleb is, and how it will need to change as the boys grow. This book will be a resource to me as the boys enter each new stage of growing up inside a body that is different from that of others.

Many of the writers of this book grew up in the time before IDEA and handicapped accessibility. Yet parents of that generation were able to get their children the education they needed in the face of even less community support and understanding than we have now. These are the parents who pushed through legislation that guarantees our children access to education, public buildings, and community interaction, which able-bodied people often take for granted. The legacy those parents have left is not only legislative, it is written in the words of their children within this book. More than ever, as I read this book, I am awed at the strength and wisdom of the parents who have been down this road before me. Those parents, like us, were not saints or extraordinarily gifted. They were regular people who did what they did because their children needed them to.

If you are interested in getting a copy of "Reflections from a Different Journey: What Adults with Disabilities wish All Parents Knew", edited by Stanley Klein, Ph.D. and John Kemp, you can purchase it at www.DisABILITIESBOOKS.com or at your local book seller.

As always, I invite your contact with comments or suggestions. E-mail me at parents@aacinstitute.org.