Robin Hurd

Teaching the Words that Support Independence

Since the last Parents Corner I wrote talked about independence, I thought I would follow up by talking about teaching language that encourages independence. One of the early language forms that children who speak learn is the imperative form: Get it! Give me! Go away! This form is what contributes to the time periods known as the terrible twos—that time when children begin to exert their self-will upon the unsuspecting world!

Mastering the imperative form is a good beginning towards understanding verbs, as well as a good way to gain independence using words. Your child can use the regular form of the verb (get, go, come) combined with a pronoun, directional word or other little word to tell people exactly what needs to be done. If you want to make sure that your child does not sound too bossy, you can model “please” to go along with the imperative: “get it please”.

Once your child can use imperative phrases, she will gain independence with words by being able to direct others who are providing her care. Most of our children need others to do things for them: get out toys, give them a drink or food and unpack their backpack. Being able to control this process verbally will provide a sense of independence that motor limitations will not allow.

So how do we teach these phrases? We can teach them in the situations where a child would want to use them. If your child says “drink”, you can say, ”What about a drink?”, and model “Get it please”. If it is time to decorate the house for the holiday, have your child direct others using the imperative. “Get it out.” “Put it on the tree.” “Put it there.”

You can also have directed play time with your child, where you have your child interact with a puppet, doll, or stuffed animal, using the imperative form. For instance, your child can tell a puppet to “go away” or ‘come out”, while you (as the puppet) obey the directions and offer verbal advice to the child. A favorite version of this for a long time at our house was telling the farm animals to “go to bed”. The animals then went to bed, but in the farmer’s bed! The farmer then went to bed in the barn, until the wife came out and told him to get the animals out of their bedroom. The farmer then asked the boys what to do. They giggled at the thought of an adult as clueless as the farmer, and very quickly learned to tell him “get out”. And the story ended happily ever after---until the next night!

This type of play becomes more fun for kids as it is repeated. It is totally proper for children to repeat and repeat such a scenario over and over again, until they learn all they want to from it, and until it loses its fun. Much as it drives the adults nuts to play the same game over and over and over, our kids learn a lot about language by practicing it over and over and over.

For older children, practicing a real scenario, such as asking an aide to get things out of the backpack when they are needed, is a worthwhile exercise. Getting comfortable with both the language and the social skills needed to manage such tasks can be a great help. This differs from working on these words in situations where you will actually want to use them, because here you are pretending, but you are pretending about a real life situation that is relevant to your child. An example of this would be our recent discussion about fire safety. We practiced what the boys would need to do if there was a fire at home --- “get out!”

Teaching and practicing the imperative form will offer children who use AAC the opportunity to control with words the parts of their environment they may not be able to control physically. In this way, the imperative form of speech can be a path to the ultimate goal of raising independent, competent children.

As always, e-mail your comments and questions to parents@aacinsitute.org. We love to hear from you!