Parents' Corner
January 2010
Why is Change so Hard?
by
Robin Hurd
As the New Year begins, I will struggle with my usual problem. For the first few days of the New Year, I’ll remember to write 2010. However, before long, I’ll find myself back to writing 2009 on my checks. It’s a habit that’s hard to change.
For kids who use AAC changes, even minor ones, can be much more difficult than my struggle to use the right date on a check. Coping with changes can be an intense, terrifying experience. Why is change so hard for kids who use AAC?
Children who use AAC have had less opportunity to develop their language skills. Language skills aren’t just the ability to say words on the AAC device. Language skills involve understanding what words mean and having those words stored in our brains so that they can work for us in a variety of ways. In addition to talking with others, we use our language skills to organize the information that goes into our brains. For instance, I might have several things to do tomorrow: a visit to the doctor with paperwork that he needs to sign, things to pick up from the store, a deadline that must be met and mail and recycling in the car that need to be dropped off. The language that is stored in my brain helps me to process through all of these various things I need to get done and organize a plan for doing them. Sure, I may help my brain keep track of these tasks by using a list; but before I write the list, my brain will use language to organize my thoughts so the list makes sense.
This mental organization part of language skills is what often causes difficulty for our children to deal with change. When life is routine, we don’t’ have to think about it. We don’t’ have to make a plan for dealing with it. We KNOW what will happen next. Knowing what the routine is frees up our brain to not have to process what the day will be like. The information is already pre-stored in our memory. However, when things change, we suddenly have to process the new information.
We have a couple of different ways of dealing with the new information. We can try to fit it into a pattern our brain already is familiar with, or we may need to make a new pattern. Either one of these ways of dealing with the new information can be tough for our kids.
In order to fit the changes into an existing pattern, our kids need to be able to see the existing pattern as something that is made up of individual parts, not just as one big whole. If the existing pattern is that I always pack my lunch for school, but today I am going to eat lunch in the cafeteria, I need to be able to take my daily schedule apart, replace what I do at lunch time with the new plan, and then put it back together again mentally. For many of our kids, this is tough or nearly impossible to do purely in their minds.
The other option for dealing with the change in how I’ll eat my lunch today is to make up a brand new pattern. If I can’t modify an existing pattern, then this may be my only choice. But making up a new pattern to deal with the schedule change will require some time and effort. My brain is starting from scratch. Each part of the day will need to be individually selected and put into the new pattern. Will I get going to school on the bus? When I get there, will I go to the same classroom? Will I be with the same teachers and care staff? Will I use the same restroom I usually do? Will I still wash my hands before lunch? To us as adults, these questions seem extreme. After all, the only thing that changes is whether I am packing a lunch or eating in the cafeteria. But if I can’t simply substitute that new information into an existing pattern, each part of my day is going to have to be re-interpreted. This can be very unnerving. This exact type of situation often causes the meltdowns we see when one part of our child’s schedule changes. To us, it’s no big deal. But when our children can’t simply replace the one part of their daily pattern with something new, it can cause a lot of anxiousness as they try to figure out what is going to happen.
One of the common ways of helping kids cope with change is the picture schedule – not to be confused with the AAC system. When a child is struggling to understand that a schedule is made up of individual parts that can be changed if needed, the picture schedule is a very helpful support. When I have a picture schedule of my day, I can physically remove the picture of that pesky lunchbox that I’m not using today, and replace it with the cafeteria lunch tray. I can see with my eyes that the schedule is made up of parts. I can also see that I can take out one of those parts and change it, without having my whole day fall to pieces. Seeing with my own eyes that my day didn’t fall apart can provide me with the stability I need to avoid a meltdown over a change in routine.
Different kids need different types of pictures on their picture schedule. Some kids are fine with symbols or clip art drawings. Other children need photographs of the actual places on the schedule. Some children need to have photographs, but they need to see themselves in the photos, doing the activity that is represented. The type of pictures the individual child needs may vary, so some experimenting may be needed to find what works best.
Understanding how our brains process changes can help us see why change can be so unnerving for our kids who struggle with language. Taking the time needed to provide them with the supports to help make sense of changes can go a long way toward making change easier to cope with. The effort reaps great rewards as our children become more comfortable in coping with change.
As always, feel free to e-mail Robin Hurd at parents@aacinstitute.org with any questions or comments.
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